Sunday, August 31, 2008

Just How Life is Going

Well in two days I will be 16 weeks along making 4 whole months of pregnancy. The things I have enjoyed the most so far about being pregnant are first not having a period (mine were not pleasant when I had them) and second but most of all how much closer I feel to my sweet husband. Being pregnant has kinda helped us to break down some communication issues we had and helped us to become more team oriented as we prepare to become parents in 5 months.

Every thing with the baby still feels unreal to me even though I heard the baby's heart beat last week. I think when I heard it I was expecting to hear like a squishy swooshy weird sound and I was actually shocked when it sounded like a real heartbeat only faster. It all kind of blows me away but it still feels like it's not real mostly because I am still living life as usual I just started classes last week and I still fit into most of my clothing I read a lot about baby stuff but I did that long before I was pregnant. I think it will feel real to me when I can feel the baby moving inside and when I see my tummy looking a little more pregnant and a little less like a had a large salty lunch.

I went to education two weeks ago at BYU it was really nice I learned a lot about how to be a good wife and mother. I'm so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ that lights the way in a confusing world. There is so much hope amid all the scary things my kids will have to deal with growing up and I am eternally grateful for my parents teaching me the path to follow so that I can show my children the path too.

In other news the school semester that just started its going to be very difficult. I will have a lot of home work and time consuming homework at that but hopefully I will learn to be a better artist though it all. My painting teacher is obsessed with teaching us how to grind our own paints and become like Rembrandt or Di Vinci, not to mention he gave my husband a B+ in his drawing class and now he cant' get into Harvard Med School because of it, I will try to put my bitterness aside and learn as much as I can. My drawing teacher is nice but he is going to have us spend the whole semester on two large projects and read books and talk about emotions and feelings and stuff which could be fun and sounds like and easy A but I think I will feel more like and English major than a person who is trying to learn how to accurately draw the world which I will be expected to do. My other drawing class is focused on drawing the human head I hope she teaches me how to do it better I am worried about her class because she wants all the home work drawn from life ( 100 sketches and some large projects) and well, it is hard to get people to sit there for a half hour or more so you can draw their head especially when you suck at it and you are going to be too embarrassed to show them the picture in the end. I also have an illustration class that will be very demanding, I hope I can learn to organize my time I guess it will be good practice for when the baby comes.

Well that is it for me for now happy Labor Day tomorrow!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Ever changing symptoms and brilliant husband

Well I'm 13 weeks along, so some would say I am in the last week of my first trimester. However, in Utah they just changed it so that the first trimester lasts through week 16. Nobody told me why they did this but as Utah is the only place that made the switch I can't imagine the reason is all that significant cause after all things are only significant if everybody's doin' it. Except for important things like keeping the commandments (those 10 important ones people tend to ignore) and working to make an aids vaccine but, well, that would be a LONG rant and I'm not sure I would have the vocabulary to back it up, best talk to my husband, he is brilliant. He is so brilliant that he got the #1 score on the ACS test in our university, that is the American Chemistry Society for anyone who wants to know, and he ranked 85th in the nation for placement on the test. Math and science don't come naturally for my sweetie every grade he earns he works his brains out for so I Just wanted to announce to the world that I am incredibly proud of him. I feel blessed beyond measure to have such a hard working husband. Back to pregnancy bits, sometimes I feel like I am starting to show but most the time I think I am just bloated. This is because some days I look really pregnant and other days I look like my same old self, and then on some days I look like three different people depending on the time. Oh, and I lied to any one that I told my morning sickness was going away. I used to just feel nauseous all the time and now I’ve moved on to throwing up with out warning. It has only happened three times this last week but sine I’d only thrown up 4 time my whole life before I was pregnant you can see why that seems a lot to me.

Till next week~ Cindy

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Words Are Important

Preparing to be a young mom is scary. There is so much I feel I need to do before I can be the type of mom I want to be. In many ways I feel I am still a kid myself, going through the ups and downs of life, trying to keep my room/apartment clean, keeping up with my school work, keeping up with my friends and their boyfriends, trying to make new friends and most of all trying to set goals that will eventually turn me in to a real adult if I ever get around to accomplishing any of them.

One of my goals that I really am determined to follow through with, not like promising to work out every day or something, but one that I feel is necessary to achieve before my little one is born in February, it is to be able to control my tongue or as Elder Holland of the quorum of the 12 would say, “To be able to speak with the tongue of angels.” I have never had a problem with cursing. a word that was actually considered a swear word never escaped my mouth until I was 17 and then it was a conspicuous damn that slipped out while I was singing a song in my car. At first I was quite embarrassed I usually am able to slip in a nice “darn” or some nonsense word in place of curse words. Once I realized I had used a curse word for the first time I quoted the funniest movie quote I could think of that cursed which at the time was Prof. Higgins form my fair lady saying damn 3 times in a very perturbed tone because he had just been foiled by a woman. I’m afraid it was all down hill from there.
After that I became quite sarcastic and discovered an ability to make people feel stupid when they tried to argue with me especially in the form of making men dig themselves a hole that gets deeper and deeper just to prove a woman’s superior bantering skills. There was also a fact that I have always been fascinated with the lives of other people, what their reasoning are, why they do what they do, predicting the outcome if a person was placed in a certain situation. A fascination with human behavior can often lead to gossip when your best friend shares the same interest. I was never a bad gossip I would say but the sarcasm which is so natural to the mouth would sneak in to conversations and boom there would be an unkind remark behind some ones back.
When I turned 19 I decided I wanted to go on a mission for the LDS church when I turned 21 and did my best to reform all unkind speaking and sarcasm and vowed that that “D” word would never escape my lips again as I prepared for the next 3 years to serve on a mission. I never did go on a mission I got married to my sweet husband and found in myself everything that I ever wanted to be except one thing, my speech took a serious regression. I decided that the cures word used in the bible had to be ok and I became adjusted to humor that I never would have tolerated back in the day.
My parents were great examples I have never heard either one of them swear or make an off colored joke, they might occasionally make a racist remark but it is never in humor it is out of ignorance of the change of what is sociably acceptable for the time. I want to set the same example for my children with the improvement of always being politically correct when I speak. I believe that this example will be one of self control intelligence and one that will keep the spirit in the lives of my family.
I became so inspired to make this change in my life when I listened to a talk on Sunday from the April 2007 general conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Elder Holland quoted form the New Testament these words:

Eph. 4:29-32 (Sorry I couldn't make the underlines go away)
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I strive to be above that of the popular ways of the world and look towards Christ teachings, old and new, to make my life and the life of my family better. Imagine the self control one could master by bridling the tongue and speaking only kindness and edifying things but, most importantly, as the scripture above suggests, we would, “
grieve not the holy Spirit of God” that he would remain in our hearts helping us be better able to serve God’s purposes, resist temptation and set the example that Christians ought to set. I fully recommend listening to the talk or reading it you can get to it from the following link http://www.lds.org/conference/sessions/display/0,5239,23-1-690,00.html Saturday morning session 7th talk down The Tongue of Angels by Jeffery R Holland
I hope I didn’t sound too soap boxish. I like to expound on things, I have since I was a very little girl. Thoughts usually don’t escape my head until I have come up with a sermon about the subject or at least a well thought out essay outline. It probably drives some people crazy but the great thing about this blog is if you don’t care you can skim through the entry or ignore it all together as most of the world will and I have the pleasure of expounding all I want!