Kailey's Birth

Well our sweet baby is now 5 weeks old, she is such a cutie pie and a skinny little thing too though she was a week post due she weighed only 5 lb 4 oz. I went into be induced Feb. 24th @ 5:30 pm-ish expecting and hoping to have a nice mostly natural labor. That did not happen; it couldn't have been more than 15 min after being hooked up to the monitors that the nurse told me I was going to need an emergency c-section. I hadn't had anything done to start labor so I was only having Braxton Hicks contractions but Kailey's heart rate was dropping dangerously low with just those. They hurried me into the operating room and got me ready. I was kind of in shock it was so not what I was expecting. I had had such a normal care free pregnancy that it really blew my mind to know my baby was in so much trouble. They gave me the epidural and dove right in it was so fast that it really didn't have time to set in so it was quite painful and they had to give me a LOT of morphine, because of this I really don't know what time Kailey was born I know they told me but drugs make you forget many a thing the first thing I really remember was the Dr coming in the next morning and telling me that I would have lost the baby had she been in there one more day. . . I wrote the previous two weeks ago when Kailey was 3 weeks. Being a mom is time consuming, Oh and Kailey was born at 8:45 pm. Any how on with the story. . . Kailey had a few things going on the cord was really tight around her neck, she was covered in meconium (sp) or her poop from the womb she had it in her lungs and it took her quite a while for her to breath I got to see her for about 15 sec I gave her a kiss and then they took her to the NICU. Kailey spent 6 days in the NICU but I had to go home after 4 I think leaving her there was the hardest thing I have had to do in my life thus far. She had signs of infection in her blood and also her blood platelet level was low. Over the next 5 days her platelet level kept dropping lower and lower as her breathing and infection issues resolved on the 6th day her platelets jumped up and they let us take her home. I cried twice during the whole thing I cried on the nurse when they were prepping me for the c-sec because I was so sad that I had no idea my baby was in trouble and I cried when I came home without her. J/K I cried more than that but I had blocked it from my mind. You see the last month of my pregnancy I felt really nervous like something was wrong with the baby and I felt like I should go in and have them do a stress test on her but I kept ignoring it because It was an bad time to go in to the hospital or I wrote the feeling off to hormones or something else. I felt so incredibly guilty for ignoring the spirit and putting my baby in danger anytime I had ignored promptings form the spirit before the only person I had hurt was myself so it took me quite a while to forgive myself and just be happy that everything was going to be ok and that is the thing about Kailey’s birth the whole time I knew she would be ok even when I didn't hear her cry in the operating room and when ever they went over all the things they were waiting to stabilize I just knew it was going to be just fine, the funny thing is I felt that way every time I felt like I should go in and get her tested and because Kailey had such a hard time at birth we found out that my blood has anti platelet antigens something that could have been much much worse for Kailey then it ended up being for her so now we know and it won't potentially kill our next child so it is kind of like Kailey could have saved her little brother and or sister that are to come for which I will be forever grateful having a baby really was a spiritual experience even though it was not the spiritual experience I was expecting I am more grateful for life than I have ever been.